Why is it suddenly considered quirky and amusing to refer to one’s significant other using “the” — a distinctly impersonal definitive adjective? The trend is by no means a recent one, but occurrences seem never-ending now that social networking sites are used by everyone and not just college students and sexual deviants.

It is near impossible to peruse the comments section of a friend’s status or photo album and not find an exchange such as the one below:

The practice seems almost a contrived effort to nonchalantly remind others that, yes, someone actually does let me have sex with them. Freud might say that not attaching a possessive modifier in such instances suggests latent feelings of dissatisfaction with one’s partner or yearnings to explore repressed primitive impulses outside of the relationship.

I contend that this effort to promote a blasé attitude allows you to acknowledge you’re in a relationship despite struggling to not be defined by it.

Or you’re just a dick. It could just be that, too.

I just sat and listened imagining that, if TV were never invented, this would be the equivalent of listening to an episode of Law & Order over the radio, slouching in a chair before an oversized piece of electronics, staring into oblivion while sipping some hot chocolate and wondering how I could actually be doing something that mattered instead of sitting here and listening to this pointless garbage.

This is the profile page of my brother’s dog. I haven’t written on a human Facebook-user’s wall in a long time. Oh well, I guess that says something about me. Or Facebook. But probably me.

1. Kurt Russell reacts to a big screen clip of Bride Wars being shown. Surprising Best Actor Award in this picture: Kate Hudson, starring as someone who abandoned their child to attend a baseball game with her much more rich and much more famous daddy. Sorry, Kurt, but Best Supporting Actor nod went to the guy with the big ears — never overlook potential rain protection

2. Look at the old white guy that clearly wants to punch Spike Lee in this photo. He would probably sell this as a racist reaction to him getting a ball, but don’t ignore the fact that Lee leapt into the lap of a lady in a brown leather jacket to steal her souvenir (I love me some alliteration). I guess money can’t buy everything. Like a $15 baseball. Or class.

3. Matthew McConnaughy is a Yankees fan but not a fan of shirt-mandating dress codes.

• — Natalie Portman actress/vegan

Okay, so this is completely out of context, but I don’t feel as bad as I should for doing it. Here’s her whole article this was taken from. Intelligent, but will more than likely be remembered for this quote than for promoting an absurd concept like not eating meat. What would I put A1 on if not meat? Salad? Really, Natalie? Really?