i like going to the beach, i like being at the beach, and i like that referring to such travel as anything other than “going down the shore” has always sounded ridiculous whether on the east coast or west.

people want to just sit on the beach, though. I just can’t stand inactivity. there’s so much potential for fun, and people just want to read books, or lay in the sun. remember when vacation meant putting off summer reading to build a sand castle that just turned into beachy mud clod? when did reading get to be so trendy? people say that tv is ruining our lives, and we should get outside and soak up some sun, but reading isn’t the answer. unless you’re a nerd. and even then it’s not the answer, but neither is frisbee i suppose. so that copy of Twilight with wrinkled cover and the tear-soaked page 216 definitely does not belong in your hands, post-teenage-girl-who-feels-she-can-retain-literary-details-while-straining-her-eyes-through-lady-gaga-sunglasses-while-blasting-the-latest-jonas-brothers-single-on-her-ipod-as-she-pretends-vampire-edward-buries-her-feet-in-the-sand-with-his-glittery-vampy-hands-and-not-her-creepy-brother/cousin-who-smiles-too-awkwardly-whenever-he-refreshes-the-suntan-lotion-on-her-shoulders.

so, shore, if you were on facebook, i would be your friend. given today’s social climate, you’d probably prefer i just follow you on twitter. let’s just settle on this: if we were both contestants on Big Brother, i would talk a lot of shit on you, but secretly have an alliance and never vote you out. I think that says a lot. or nothing. whatever.