Why is it suddenly considered quirky and amusing to refer to one’s significant other using “the” — a distinctly impersonal definitive adjective? The trend is by no means a recent one, but occurrences seem never-ending now that social networking sites are used by everyone and not just college students and sexual deviants.

It is near impossible to peruse the comments section of a friend’s status or photo album and not find an exchange such as the one below:

The practice seems almost a contrived effort to nonchalantly remind others that, yes, someone actually does let me have sex with them. Freud might say that not attaching a possessive modifier in such instances suggests latent feelings of dissatisfaction with one’s partner or yearnings to explore repressed primitive impulses outside of the relationship.

I contend that this effort to promote a blasé attitude allows you to acknowledge you’re in a relationship despite struggling to not be defined by it.

Or you’re just a dick. It could just be that, too.