I would like to take this opportunity to offer my congratulations to my twin brother for his successful proposal of marriage. I am excited to welcome her officially into my family, and I’m happy to see him venture into a new era of manhood - one that sees a dramatic decrease in the time he feels obligated to wear pants around the house. Fortunately, we live in a society that still permits intergender marriages, allowing my brother to look forward to a day when celibacy is a lifestyle, not a choice.

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I hate to get political for a second, but why is America seriously so against same-sex marriage? How is the common citizen harmed by letting Gary and Nate, the homosexual couple that lives down the street, become Mr. and Mr. Gary and Nate, the homosexual couple down the street? From what I’ve gathered in four years at a predominately white, upper-middle-class liberal arts college, being gay is not contagious. Homosexual relationships in America is treated by the anti-gay establishment as though it were a disease. It’s covered in the same manner that SARS or Asian bird-flu was, scaring the unknowing into a panic despite 99.9999% of Americans never meeting anyone that’s caught either.  However, if you’re like my college roommate, you claim it’s like chicken pox where everyone gets it once, but that may just be him…

Honestly, though, let gay people marry. It’s not a big deal. A few more weddings wouldn’t hurt the economy. Oh, and congratulations to my brother and future sister-in-law.